I had a much clearer sense of ‘I should ask him out’ (with my squishes I’d wondered it because it seemed the ‘correct’ response to strong feelings, but I hadn’t actually wanted to).when he mentioned his crush on another girl I was immediately jealous.I’ve also had one of them (and he’s now my boyfriend of three years!) and there were a couple of things that made me realise this was different: So those are most of the main points I remember about having a squish, and like I said most of them seem similar to having a crush. I knew crush was the wrong word, I just didn’t know the right one yet.
before I knew about squishes I’d figured I must have a crush, because what else could it be? Despite that, I had a very strong feeling this is not a crush, and I think I called it a ‘strong platonic interest’ to myself. I’d be shy/nervous/easily flustered around my squish, and excited to see and talk to them. The idea of my squish having a crush on someone didn’t bother me at all, actually I was usually pleased about this and would want to help them get a girlfriend/boyfriend because they’d be happy. Essentially I wanted to be a close friend they would trust and love, important to them equivalent to a romantic partner, without wanting any romance or sex myself. Being my squish’s ‘favourite person’ like a best friend would become really important to me (like how with a crush you probably want to go out with them). If I did imagine physical contact it would be like ‘we cuddle watching a film’ or ‘hold hands on a walk’ in a purely platonic sense. I’d think about them a lot, but any fantasies would be less to do with physical contact and more ‘we do this fun activity together (often with other friends around) and they say I’m their favourite person’. There was a lot of admiration for my squish like ‘wow they’re so good at *whatever’ ‘I wish I could *whatever* like they do’ ‘it’s so cool how they *whatever*’ Often I’d feel surprised if other people didn’t notice/agree. This isn’t in a sexual way, I didn’t particularly want to touch them or do anything with them (except maybe play with their hair if given the opportunity) I’d more think about how perfect and right they’d look. Often there’d be a particular part I’d focus on and think about a lot. 
I don’t usually pay that much attention to people’s appearances, but an early sign was usually noticing how they look a lot more.Okay so I’ve had a few squishes over the years on boys and girls.I’m going to list some of my experiences of having squishes, lots of which sound similar to having a crush, so I’ll also try explain how I knew the difference when I finally had my first crush. As soon as I heard that definition, I understood what my feelings were, but that probably doesn’t clear things up for everybody. My understanding of a squish is along the lines of ‘a platonic crush.’ They’re more common among aspec people, but I think anyone could have one. Because I could have done with hearing this when I was a baby ace.
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